Active Voice vs. Passive Voice in Creative Writing

The definition of passive voice can appear ambiguous to some, but it’s fairly simple. In passive writing, actions are always being done to the subject or are received by the subject instead of subjects performing the action. Passive sentences  tend to be poorly constructed and long-winded. And because unnecessary words are added, it slows down the pacing. There are different ways to write sentences that carry the exact same meaning. Here's a basic example. 

Active: Sam kicked the ball. 

The subject of the verb (Sam) directly performed an action.

Passive: The ball was kicked by Sam.

Action is performed upon or by the subject. 

Active sentences have direct approaches that make more impact (and still be succinct) while passive sentences lack emotions and are full of filler words that don't add any impact. Here are different types and variations.

Active: The young thugs from the nearby neighborhood took over the playground to sell drugs. 

Passive: The playground was frequented by the bad teenagers from the nearby neighborhood who sold drugs. 

Active: He saw the need to rant. 

Passive: He felt like complaining.  

Active: Her piercing glance zoomed in at my purse. 

Passive: She began to look suspiciously at my purse.  

There is always an exception to the rule. It’s justifiable when the actor (subject of an active verb) is less important than what is acted on (object), or when the actor is obvious, unknown, or unnecessary. This type of passive sentences is commonly accepted in academic/administrative writing or in journalism.

Example: The victim was found near the back entrance. 

In this case, the writer is intentionally trying to hide something from the readers, or the writer wishes not to reveal a piece of information until later. It could also be that the writer wants the readers to focus on the object instead of the subject.


Here are some examples of active and concise vs. passive and long. Writers do like to increase word count, but redundancies, repetitiveness, and filler words are not the way to achieve it. You can see how it impacts the pacing.


Bad: It seemed to have gone the other way. 
Good: It went the other way.

Bad: It had been sitting there. 
Good: It sat there.

Bad: He could not have been waiting for more than a few minutes. 
Good: He only waited for a few minutes.

Bad: I began to move slowly. 
Good: I moved slowly.

Bad: There had not been any phone calls. 
Good: Nobody called.

Bad: He was feeling something within his body, which felt like lust. 
Good: He was horny.

In creative writing, a writer must engage the readers at every page. When the writing is active, it appear more energetic and powerful. When it passively drags on? Well...it'll make you stabby. Go back and read your MS. What is the ratio? Do you have more passive sentences than active ones? Do you have more telling than showing? Either way, it’s probably a good idea to go over your writing style with a fresh set of eyes. Delete the passive words, and bring the oomph back to your MS. 

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